The Song Goes On…
Today feels like the beginning of the next chapter. Maybe it is because I received my last salaried paycheck at the end of July. Maybe it is because this is the first non-Catholic funeral I’ve played at. Maybe it’s because I know everyone is thinking about going back to their classrooms now and I have to start scheduling lessons and figuring out how to run a business instead. I’m on a metaphorical precipice, you could say, and am truly taking the leap.
Heading out to do music in a little country church feels like an *almost* full circle moment. Flashbacks to all the little country churches we would sing at for the Agape Singers or on Augie Choir Ter. It’s been a long time since I’ve performed music anywhere other than familiar places and churches. The feeling of both newness and nostalgia colliding…
One of the songs that was selected for the service was a little difficult to find (even though I knew it was familiar, for some reason!), and I ended up finding it in a songbook that was once my Grandma Mary Ann’s.
After the vocalist and I completed “I was there to hear your bourning cry” and I was ready to head back to the organ, I saw something on the floor. At first I thought it was something from the nearby table, that had notes and instructions on how to use the equipment. I picked it up, so I could put it back, and as I looked at it, I realized it was a laminated photo of my Grandma and her ladies singing group “Steppin’ Out”. I knew immediately that it had fallen out of “The Song Goes On” book. I had no idea it was in there. Looking at it made me once again reflect on my Grandma’s impact on my life.
Would I be here playing at this funeral today had it not been for her? She was, after all, the one who first volunteered for me to play at church when I was 12. She was the one who would give me organ music with “Use the pedals!” written on the front. She was the one who I always saw playing and singing at church, family gatherings, and anywhere else there was a want or need for music.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a whole family that is musical and very supportive, but she was the one who always gave me music books for Christmas or birthdays, who volunteered my siblings and cousins and me to sing at her Christian Women’s gatherings,
who came to my senior recital in the midst of a battle with cancer. It is arguable that she had an outsized impact on my life. It’s often hard to believe she’s been gone for so long.
Would I have had the courage to take this leap and start my own business without all of that unwavering support? So many questions in this transition. So much to think about. So much to write about. So much gratitude that I’m able to be in this place. So incredibly grateful that my song goes on. I can’t wait to share it with you all.
Grandma Mary Ann sang Soprano in this group “Steppin’ Out” and is the top left, second row. They would sing at various church or community events.
